Allah,
jika ia jodohku, maka dekatkan-lah ia denganku.
namun bila ia bukan jodohku, jauhkanlah dan dekatkanlah aku pada jodohku.
little. black. box
it's all about my little dirty secret here
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Saturday, 12 March 2011
untukmu disana, E!
aku tahu kau tidak akan mengerti apa yang aku tulis dalam note ini. tapi aku berjanji padamu,tulisan ini adalah untukmu.
ya, hanya untukmu.
dan ketahuilah sayang, aku sedang menggunakan bahasa ibuku untuk mencurahkan apa yang ada dalam hatiku dan tetap berusaha agar kau tak mengetahui ini.
bukan, bukan aku tak ingin kau mengerti tulisan ini.
tapi aku hanya tak ingin menambah bebanmu lagi dengan aku mengatakan ini dalam bahasa inggris agar kau mengerti.
apa aku terlalu baik hingga tak ingin menambah bebanmu padahal dalam hatiku aku ingin kau mengerti perasaanku ini.
16 januari 2011, aku menemukanmu.
kau tahu bagaimana rasanya saat itu?
aku sungguh bahagia saat itu. sempat berfikir aku tak akan bisa bertahan tanpamu.
kau meyakinkan aku, aku lah satu satunya orang yang bisa kau ajak bicara. aku bahagia saat itu.
tapi aku tak boleh egois kan? aku harus membagimu dengan satu orang lagi yang paling kau sayang, dan juga pekerjaanmu.
hari ke hari, aku berusaha mengerti kesibukanmu, kau pun berusaha untuk mengerti kesibukanku.
sungguh, aku bahagia denganmu, tak pernah sebelumnya aku menemukan pria yang seperti ini.
seperti apa yang benar benar aku inginkan.
semakin hari, semakin mengerti bagaimana sibuknya dirimu, mengapa aku tak juga memutuskan hubungan ini?
mungkin karena kamu adalah suatu zat yang bila aku pakai dalam dosis yang tepat akan sangat membuatku bahagia, namun bila dikonsumsi dalam dosis yang berlebihan akan sangat membunuhku.
ya, membunuhku.
kau tahu mengapa sayang?
pada tanggal 7 kemarin, kau bilang kau akan memberi tahuku apa yang akan terjadi padamu.
aku menunggumu, sepanjang hari.
namun kau tak jua datang.
apa kau mau tahu perasaanku saat itu?
saat itu aku takut sayang, takut sesuatu yg jelek terjadi padamu.
tapi sampai sekarang (9 maret 2011, 22.00) kau tak juga memberiku kabar apa yang terjadi padamu.
kau membuatku semakin takut sayang.
aku takut kau kenapa-napa. tapi itu mungkin tidak akan terlalu aku khawatirkan apabila kau
me-respons bbm, email, chat, telfon, dan juga sms yang sudah berkali kali aku kirim untukmu.
aku takut sayang, sangat takut.
takut bila engkau akan meninggalkan aku seperti mantanku terdahulu meninggalkan aku.
aku trauma pada hal itu, dan sungguh tak ingin hal itu terulang kembali. :(
jangan, jangan seperti ini sayang kalau kau ingin meninggalkan aku..
setidaknya katakan ini baik baik padaku.
aku akan coba mengerti alasanmu, walaupun akan sangat berat untukku melepasmu.
aku takut..
ya Allah, apa yang harus aku lakukan sekarang?
haruskah aku tetap meninggalkannya?
tapi bukankah dia bilang
suatu hari nanti, aku akan menjemputmu hanya untuk naik ke petronas tower, makan sushi dan menonton film bersama, Ratu-ku.
haruskah aku tetap menunggunya?
berapa lama ya Allah?
bisa saja aku tetap menunggunya, tapi aku tak tahu seberapa lama aku dapat menahannya.
beri aku pencerahan tentang dia ya Allah..
aku hanya ingin tumbuh tua bersama dia.
How do I say goodbye to someone I never really had? Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who was never really mine? Why is it I miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine?
i miss you.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
need you now
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
a little part of need you now lyrics
hope ericieta meant together God,
xoxo,
ericieta "g"
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
a little part of need you now lyrics
hope ericieta meant together God,
xoxo,
ericieta "g"
Monday, 28 February 2011
28.02.2011
E: "didn't your housemates keep wonder why you always on your laptop?"
C: "i told them i'm chatting with y boyfriend. do you mind that?"
"no, i dont mind.
i am your boyfriend and slave.
you are my girlfriend and queen"
C: " (K) "
E: " (L) "
C: " (L)
what's that means actually?
E: "i gave you my heart. it's bigger than a kiss"
E: "hehe... did you find her a scorpio man?"
C: "me?
you want me with scorpio man?"
E: "no... for your friend
I don't want you with another man"
E: "i think you are my destiny my Queen"
guess today was more than enough to make me fly ;)
hope we really are belong together God
xoxo,
Ericieta "g"
Thursday, 24 February 2011
daily dose of vitamines
i remember,
today 23rd of February 2011, around 12.30 pm malaysia time,
he said he is going to come here if our relationship going good for the next few months at the end of this year, which means on December..
no, he didn't say that.. he promised/
i asked him to not hurry..
then what he said is: "i'll go there once we're ready"
wew, what a relieve..
but God, please just dont make me wait too long to meet him. i really wanted to see him soon.
i said that is just because i dont want him to think too fast.. he should think carefully.
but yes! deep inside my heart, i want him to come here soon
he said, i am his daily dose of vitamines.
can i believe that, God?? is it true?
wish all my dreams with him coming true
xoxo,
ericieta "g"
today 23rd of February 2011, around 12.30 pm malaysia time,
he said he is going to come here if our relationship going good for the next few months at the end of this year, which means on December..
no, he didn't say that.. he promised/
i asked him to not hurry..
then what he said is: "i'll go there once we're ready"
wew, what a relieve..
but God, please just dont make me wait too long to meet him. i really wanted to see him soon.
i said that is just because i dont want him to think too fast.. he should think carefully.
but yes! deep inside my heart, i want him to come here soon
he said, i am his daily dose of vitamines.
can i believe that, God?? is it true?
wish all my dreams with him coming true
xoxo,
ericieta "g"
Sunday, 20 February 2011
i miss him so badly now
God,
i know i cant be selfish, he's with the person he loves so much now. i know he will back soon.
but.. message me at least. i really miss him
i guess he doesn't miss me at all while i miss him too bad now.
i know i cant be selfish, he's with the person he loves so much now. i know he will back soon.
but.. message me at least. i really miss him
i guess he doesn't miss me at all while i miss him too bad now.
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